When faced with the challenge of stepping out of your comfort zone do you worry about whether you are good enough? Does this worry stop you from trying and giving it your best shot? Would this mind- set help you rise to the challenge or would you do it half- heartedly because deep down you think that you’ll fail?
Self- limiting beliefs such as ‘Am I good enough?’ can really hold you back as you feel trapped in the cycle of ‘can’t do it’ or leave you over stretching your self and taking on more than is realistic. Both strategies lead to fulfilling the prophecy that you are not good enough. In a way you know it’s true but that’s only what experience has taught you based upon the way you are approaching the situation. What I find fascinating and inspiring is that in spite of this self- created evidence, you still strive to be better and good enough. How can you begin to build the evidence that tells you that you are good enough and full of the potential that you feel intuitively inside?
What would help is a different mind- set, a perspective that challenges your old thinking and establishes new, empowering thinking that will allow you to grow and develop in the directions you choose.
Perhaps it might be useful to reframe the question? When you ask “Am I good enough?” I actually think people are asking “Can I do it perfectly?” The answer to that, if this is your first time, is almost definitely “no!” The expectation that you want or have to do it perfectly is the thing that stops you from trying at all. Perhaps that demand puts you under so much pressure that the authentic and heart- felt delivery that would make it a success becomes stifled, tense and forced. You may have an idea of where this thinking comes from and that may be important for you to know. In coaching it is more significant to notice that you are feeling that way in the moment of not feeling good enough which can empower you to think and act differently.
Where do you go from here?
By giving your self permission not to be perfect, you are setting up the opportunity to make mistakes, reflect on them, learn from them and act differently next time around. This is part of the growth mind- set that I have spoken about in another blog.
The iterative process of stepping out of your comfort zone, making mistakes, learning from them and altering behaviour accordingly drives you towards ever increasing excellence.
In my experience, this takes away some of the pressure I have placed on my self that actually leaves me stagnating and instead able to take action. I see clients empowered to try, cognisant that they may not be perfect (and to be at peace with that truth) and that those mistakes will be the stumbling blocks they will turn into stepping stones in the future.
With this mind- set, “Am I good enough?” becomes “I am good enough to start and get progressively better as I learn and improve”. My belief is that you are good enough, as are we all, to do excellently at whatever you choose. False expectations from out- dated beliefs will only keep you stuck and struggling to move forward and grow. Find ways to step up and grow your self. Believing that you have what it takes to be good enough goes a long way to allowing you to grow into that role and realise the potential within that lies dormant, untested, until you step up.
Over to you
Feelings of “Am I good enough?” are normal and natural. I hope this perspective has given you some food for thought to challenge that question and give you room to explore how capable and powerful you are. As ever, I would love to hear from you and invite you to share your experience, observations and insights with fellow readers and people that share this path of uncovering their full potential. Please leave your comments below.
And if you’ve enjoyed this blog and think someone you know would benefit and enjoy reading it, please pass it on. You can also sign up to the monthly Potentiality Coaching Blog Newsletter here and be the first to hear about what is evolving in the world of Potentiality Coaching, including newly published blogs, new packages and coaching offers.